“suspended” :  after porgy and bess after ernestine anderson and after me for whom the boat is now a plane and that mista she talkin to is a sista.

There’s a plane that’s leavin soon for New York.
Come with me, that’s where we belong, Sista.

I’m one of those people who cries on an airplane. I cry when I’m high and flying, no matter high high, no matter what direction I’m moving. A woman I love jokes sometimes that I’m a crybaby but she’s right. I ugly cry, too.  It’s the sensation of the actual lifting; from the ground, one minute, to an impossible reality, the next. From knowing a baseline, one minute, to not being able to unfeel the absence it, the next.

You and I can live that high life in New York.
Come with me, there you can’t go wrong, Sista.

I’ve been thinking so much about what “fly” means- to be fly- to be fly-ing- for things themselves to sustain flight. It’s supposed to describe thing we might do when we’re in a particular kind of motion at a particular type of height, right? But if I’m at my peak, what is there above me? What comes after flying but falling and freezing?

I’ll buy me the swellest mansion, on upper 5th Ave.
And through Harlem, we’ll go struttin! We’ll go a-struttin!
And there’ll be nothin’ too good for you.

I say to fly is to be undeniable. That’s my fly. You’ve gotta move out of my way if I’m flying. You can’t unsee me if I speed past you. If I am flying a flag, you’re making a decision to cruise or look or not. If I’m in an aircraft even, there’s a pilot who is carrying me. In flight, we also divert others-- sometimes physically. Like, I know me and my lover, we fly. Once she sang to me as she sent me off.

I’ll dress me in silks and satins,
And the latest of Paris styles.
All the blues I’ll be forgettin, I'll be forgettin,
I won’t be frettin’, just nothing but smiles.

The dictionary has a whole host of definitions for this word. Some of my favorite are, “to be successful,” as in "that didn't fly around me,” or, “to assail suddenly and violently,” as in “to go or move quickly,” as in, "I flew at ‘em.” It’s somehow missing how we sometimes use fly to mean cool though. Something tells me that’s not a mistake.

Come along with me, that’s the place
Don't be a fool, come along, come along!

And what about those that are forced to fly? I think of the wartime flyboys. I think of my great grandmother. I think of escape routes to wherever.

There’s a plane that’s leavin’ soon for New York.

There’s always a risk

Come with me, that’s where we belong, Sista.

in suspension maybe.

That’s where we belong.


fresh faces: all about shawné michaelain holloway

fresh faces: all about shawné michaelain holloway

shawne michaelain holloway fresh faces.png

this article originally ran in the september 2015 issue of avn magazine profiling yhivi, a “fresh face” of the 2015 pornscape ~ click here to see the original on pg 16. 

small town indiana | age: 25 | height: 5-foot-8 | weight: 130 pounds | eyes: blk | hair: blk

“i first spotted shawné (pronounced SHAW-NAY) at on ikea transport bus in finland where she made an impression wearing a one-piece print all over me dress with dead fish on it. she has changed that look for something more sophisticated : a print all over me dress with chopped off penises all over it, and she has matured in other ways, too... have a look: ”

how did you start with this?
i had absolutely no intention on being an artist. i wanted to be a lawyer and accidentally ended up here because i wanted to keep going to school and art school was the only thing i hadn’t tried.

what did you do before this?
i had a job working in a gym and a clothing store. 

how many scenes have you done now?
hundreds. at least one a day. i don’t go a day without something. i’m always on camera. 

what’s the best scene you’ve done so far?
that’s a hard one. well, the types of scenes i like to do are private and commissioned. the flirty kind you know someone looks at and feels special while they watch. to make those, i really try to take as much as i can inside of me and let everyone see. 

the most dicks in you?
sometimes dicks. mostly, #feels.

who do you want to work with that you haven’t worked with yet?
recently, i’ve been wanting to work with jessica creepshow or kira noir. really, i want to work with all transgressive POC. i want to be loud and i want to shoot film. i don’t even give a fuck what’s on that film. i want to build archives of material and vomit it all over the internet. no rules but everything counts. 

how is making videos different from what you thought?
i didn’t think i’d be so unsatisfied with the end product. when i’m done editing, i’m done enjoying it. hopefully others can benefit from its existence but for me, it’s time to move on. i guess that’s why i call myself a performance artist instead of a video artist. 

what¹s the biggest misconception outsiders have of the adult industry?
that fine art can’t be apart of it. 

what are your biggest turn-ons?
people and objects that respect my space and expose me to new understandings of culture.
(wait, also body fluid.)

describe your dream sexual scenario.
one in which i actually orgasm. 

what’s the most valuable life lesson you’ve learned?
to work hard to make as much money as possible without forgetting to enjoy it and remain empathetic through the whole process. that enjoyment and empathy are inextricably linked.

how would you spend your last day on earth?
eating and stealing. 

how would your best friends describe you?
probably difficult and stubborn but loyal and hardworking.

how do you spend your free time?
alone and on the computer playing with social media— does that still count as alone?
also, trying to discover new foods. 

if you weren’t doing this, what would you like to be doing?
being a stay at home wife working on a novel. 

do you have a long-range plan?
get my phd, own some property, fall in love. 

shawné michaelain holloway represents herself and has never been represented by a gallery.
to see photos of shawné michaelain holloway, and other fresh faces, visit her on facebook.